I was doing some studying last night and more homework for my upcoming TT finals, and got brave enough to consider something.
I don’t want enlightenment.
That’s supposed to be the goal, the ultimate achievement in yoga, as far as the path goes. The thing is, it sounds like it might be kind of stark to me, devoid of the dirt and the color that makes me smile everyday. I’m tied to this world, from the trees to the giggle of my best friend, to the kisses from my dog and the sinfull goodness of homemade mac and cheese WITH a glass of cabernet.
The argument is that I’ll be devoid of wanting these things, that my true nature is enough to sustain me once I’ve opened my eyes to enlightenment. And that very well might be true, is probably true.
But I’m not willing to reach for it yet. I reach for peace, and fullfillment, and a chance to give back to my world. I reach for hope and love and everything in between. But I don’t reach for enlightenment.
Maybe this makes me a bad yogi. Maybe I’ll discover that this will change. But I selfishly, kindly, and respectfully practice for my current nature, and that is all I need.
With Mysore classes cancelled on Sunday I’ve been stuck on some night/home practices this week, culminating in a Led Primary tonight (on moon day, which I probably don’t need to do but I’m in the mood for a tougher practice).
It’s been interesting, exploring my own practice. I generally go through my Ashtanga practice and add in some hip openers followed by a soft close to my practice.
I’ll be back to Mysore tomorrow, but things I’ve learned:
Hoping to return to class tomorrow super strong!